Tom Paris's door chimed. Again. And again. He rolled over in bed, dragging the pillow over his face as he did. Which had absolutely no effect on the volume or repetition of the sound. Who the hell was bothering him at this hour? He didn't report to the garden for another three hours, and if Chakotay had reported him to Janeway, then he probably wouldn't be reporting to the garden period. Tom stumbled out of bed, tripped over his boots, and was sent sprawling into the carpet. Where he discovered that he'd tracked dirt in, the night before. He yanked himself up and went to the door. If this was Chakotay, or any Maquis, hell if it was anyone short of Tuvok or Janeway, he was going to greet them with a swift kick to the gut.
It was Harry Kim. He was bouncing from foot to foot. His entire body was moving with impatience. Damned sweet, annoying kid, Tom thought.
"Harry," Tom greeted him with a less than welcoming tone. "What's up? I wasn't."
If Harry noticed Tom's evident irritation, he chose not to acknowledge it.
"Tom, I need to talk to you."
Tom rubbed his eyes-he had sleep and dirt in his eyelashes. "About what," he sighed.
"The Maquis."
"My absolute favorite subject. Why can't this wait, Harry?"
"Because it's important. And because I go on duty in a few hours."
"Me too," Tom retorted. "Hence the sleeping I was doing."
"Tom, I don't want to talk about this in the corridor, I don't want any of them overhearing."
"I don't want to talk about this period."
"Tom, you don't even know what this is," Harry snapped at his disagreeable friend.
"If it involves the Maquis I truly don't care."
Actually, Harry knew Tom probably did care, but was too pissed at being woken to admit it.
"Tom, it should take only a second. Can I come in?"
Tom stepped back, and turned back into his quarters, muttering under his breath the entire time. Harry followed him, noting that not only was his friend acting like a recalcitrant little boy, but his quarters looked like one lived there, too. There was even dirt ground into the carpet.
"Where'd the dirt come from, Tom?"
"I work in the garden, where do you think the dirt came from?" Tom collapsed on the couch. "What was it about the Maquis that you wanted to wake me up for?"
Harry walked over and stood in front of Tom, who was apparently falling right back asleep.
"I think the Maquis are planning on assassinating Captain Janeway," Harry stated.
That woke Tom up immediately. "What?" He opened his eyes and stared at Harry.
"Or atleast planning on getting rid of her somehow."
"How the hell did you come up with that conclusion?" Tom asked.
"I thought this over for a long time, and I talked over it with Neelix. The Maquis used to be constantly insubordinate and violent, and now they're practically docile. And Chakotay is spending a hell of a lot more time with Janeway than he used to. I think they're getting her trust, and then killing her, so command of Voyager goes to Chakotay."
Tom shook his head in disbelief, Harry liked making utterly senseless connections, but this was extreme.
"Harry." Tom sighed. He didn't even know where to start. "First of all, be careful who you call docile. Some of them will rip your legs off and feed them to you. Secondly, Chakotay just has bad taste in women. Thirdly, command of Voyager would go to Tuvok because the Starfleet crew would throw a temper tantrum if they were under Chakotay's command. And fourthly, I think you've gone insane."
"Tom-" Harry began.
"No, Harry. Please just think over what I've said and if you still think you're right, we can talk about it later, okay?"
"Okay, before I go, just tell me, what do you know about the Commander and the Captain?" Harry asked.
Tom was curling back up on the couch. "As far as I know, he just wants to fuck her, not fuck her up."
Harry winced at the profanity, and turned to leave.
As he left, Tom called after him, "Hey Harry, Neelix's serving Peach Pie today. Whatever you do, don't eat it."
Harry halted, and turned around. "Tom, what did you do?"
"I switched the syrup with a really powerful Klingon laxative." Tom started chuckling.
Harry shook his head.
"What are you going to do when Janeway catches you?"
"Offer her some pie."
"Tom, she not as oblivious as you think she is."
"We'll see, Harry."
"What if she bans you from the Garden and the kitchen?"
"I'll just cry my eyes out. She not going to do anything, Harry. She's a moron. Aren't you late for your shift?"
Harry left at that. But he was thinking, that if his Captain couldn't catch Tom and his food hijinks, how could she keep an eye on all the Maquis?