On the Dangers of Thick Walls

As you may or may not recall, I live in an 80-year-old apartment building in Boston. To date, the main danger of living here was the bad wiring - phone lines that go snap-crackle-pop when the temperature changes rapidly, and ungrounded electrical wiring that can’t handle large appliances (like, say, air conditioners).

This morning, however, a new danger of old architecture appeared. I was awoken at the unnatural hour of 6 a.m. by the sound of someone banging on a door and conducting his half of your typical domestic dispute through it. If it had been 6 p.m., I would have gone out there or called the police, but when it’s 6 a.m. on a Sunday and you’re not really awake in the first place, you assume the end of the noise is the end of the problem and go back to sleep.

The police, when they arrived an hour and a half later, waking me up again with the door buzzer, were shocked, shocked I tell you, that no one had gotten involved when this woman’s boyfriend wrecked their apartment and she screamed for help and ran off to them. What terrible neighbors we all must be, to ignore screaming and breaking things.

I figure nobody called because nobody heard it. My apartment is right across the hall and I heard no screaming for help, no breaking things. Once the argument left the hallway, it became inaudible. Even in the hallway stage, it’s doubtful anyone off the floor would have heard enough to wake them. While it’s a bit disturbing to find out for sure that I could scream for help in my apartment and everyone would sleep right through it, I could have guessed that part. What’s worse is that the police would blame my neighbors for being asleep.

The old woman next door turns her television way up, and though you can hear it from the hall, you can’t hear it from inside another apartment. You can hear music through open windows in the summer, but not from the apartment right next to you. The guy upstairs used to drop something heavy (barbells?) on the floor every now and then - that’s all I ever heard of him. You have to actually shake the building to be noticed, and even then people will probably assume it’s the elevator door banging (another 1922 original, like the wiring), which is the only thing besides the fire alarm that’s audible in most parts of the building. It’s a pretty solid building - that always seemed like a plus before.

I was home last night, too, and I completely missed Part I of this domestic dispute, after which the woman apparently decided to barricade herself inside their apartment without a phone - when the guy had the keys to the place anyway. (It’s not entirely clear when the boyfriend destroyed the cell phone, and considering the state of the phone lines, I can’t blame them too much for not getting real telephone service connected.) But can I recommend not doing that in a building where no one can hear you scream?

Or am I supposed to feel guilty for having a telephone, being asleep at six a.m., and not moving in with an idiot?

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