Make Way For Ugly Ducklings

Via Boston Common: a bubbleheaded beach bunny at the LA Times thinks Bostonians are ugly.

We haven’t seen much of Boston in the World Series the last 80 years or so, so it’s shocking to see so many ugly people in one place.

The place is Fenway Park.

Some fans wore hats or scarves to cover their faces, I presume so they wouldn’t scare the children.

No, that would be because of something we call “autumn,” the season immediately preceding “winter.”

I’m the first to admit that I’m not beautiful enough to live in LA. I know because I’ve lived in Southern California and in Boston. Everyone but the Mexicans is gorgeous down there, but you can’t get a decent donut to save your life. The beautiful people don’t have to do any actual work, like, say, mowing their own lawns, growing their own food, or washing their own dishes, because they have their imported illegal underclass to do that. Nor do they need to be smart or sane or sober enough to come in out of the cold, since it never gets cold. You get the pretty faces, with about as much in the brainpan as Homo floresiensis.

If there were a Californian team that actually won anything, you wouldn’t find Bostonians writing articles about the Botoxed, wheat-grass chomping, silicon-enhanced stupidity of Californian fans. Despite the coastal location we’re normal people with a grasp of common human decency, not malicious plastic freaks who wouldn’t know a donut from a Cheerio.

I’ll take the ugly people and a Boston Creme any day of the week.

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