The gang gathered at the Magic Box to brainstorm. Jemima must be saved from the mindless electron-slaughter of this “blog war” at all costs, so that she could return to her peacetime occupation of writing Buffy fic. Anya was especially anxious to eliminate the demonic threat of Lori and Seema - she’d heard about Jemima’s prediliction for wedding-fic, and she figured no cold feet of Xander’s could stand against the great Victorian fanfic writer in the sky. Even Spike, usually too surly for this sort of Scoobie do-good project, was willing to help a writer who never, ever, under any circumstances, allowed the poofboy into her fic.
Buffy, however, splashed cold water on their plans. “From what Xander has told us about this ‘blog war’,” she said, “Lori and Seema are just average human beings. I can’t go over there and stake them. I only do demons.”
“We know that, luv,” Spike said. Buffy glared at him.
Anya found the enemy sufficiently demonic. “They’re obsessed with cheesy TV programs that were never all that popular and now seem to be”–she paused dramatically and whispered–“off the air.” The Scoobies gave a collective gasp.
“Maybe we can have Lori and Seema committed,” Dawn suggested. “Buffy knows plenty of people over at Social Services.”
“I’m the Vampire Slayer, not the Blog Warrior. I say we let Jemima and William James handle this on their own.”
“William James is dead, luv,” Spike reminded her.
“As if that ever stopped anyone around here.”
Willow cleared her throat. “I think this blog war may be your kind of thingy after all, Buffy.” She flipped open one of Giles’ dustiest old magic tomes to the section on blogs. “It says right here: ‘In the last days, the Two Horsewomen of the Apocalypse will appear, their bright eyes of indeterminate hue flashing, and their posts flaming, to bring an end to all blogs. And their names shall be called Libel and Slander.’” Willow shut the book, looking quite pleased with herself. “Get it? Libel and Slander - Lori and Seema! They’re bringing on the Blog Apocalypse.”
“We have to stop it!” Anya added.
“Why?” Spike asked.
“Because that’s what we do,” Buffy replied. “We stop Armageddon.”
“No armageddony stuff on her watch,” Willow echoed.