Crazy People

The story of crazy writer Daniel Rice begins with this eBay auction. TNH reposted the listing in a more legible form. Although she was unreasonably polite about the amateur’s hopeless efforts to sell an unfinished manuscript for $150,000, he responded with enough craziness to get himself disemvowelled.

Not surprisingly, his auction expired without any bids being made. He’s cut the asking price to $125,000, added paragraph breaks, and a bonus psychotic break over Making Light poster Greg Ioannou at the bottom. Check out the new auction here. You have only 4 more days to come up with the $125,000 to buy this gem.

Being unable to write is a sure sign of being unable to write, yet every day I see people posting gibberish to LiveJournals, writing lists, or forums—gibberish proclaiming their latest novel projects or their countless entries into the slush piles. Spelling can be fixed, but it’s a little late to learn how to form an English sentence when you have three alleged children. My advice to Mr. Rice is to find a new hobby.

2 Responses to “Crazy People”

  1. Lori Says:

    My diagnosis would be schizophrenia, given the persistence of his delusions and the resistance to rational suggestions and the corrections of verifiably-employed-in-pro-publishing people - the world inside his head is more real to him than the rest of us, and his ego-preservation tactics suggest further pathology.

    It’s not about the writing, you see. It’s not about the manuscript. He says in various ways it’s about providing for his children, and I can believe that. Consider: he believes his story is the important thing. The fact that he can’t write is immaterial; he has Something Awesome in his hands, presentation is immaterial, his message Must Be Given to the unwashed masses. The delivery method doesn’t matter. Surely, if one of these big-name writers printed his stories on their paper and turned it in with their name on it, it would be a money-maker ’cause these BNW could sell their grocery list.

    If he is considerably disabled by pathology, this may be his only way of providing for his kids. He may even be counting on it. He may have a custody battle waging and money may be at issue in keeping a good lawyer. There could be all sorts of drama driving his ebay item.

    Or, he could be just looney. Either way is believable from where I sit. For a lot of other writers, it really is about the writing itself - this guy has decided that 1. King/Grisham/whoever make lots of money putting words on paper 2. putting words on paper is easy 3. I can put words on paper 4. anything those other guys write gets published, therefore 5. I can put words on paper and sell it to one of those other guys for less than they probably make on one of their books, saving them time and hassle and netting me a hefty check from Paypal. Mr. Rice doesn’t care that he can’t write, nor does he think that it matters. He produced a product, words on paper, and those big name writers can make money where he can’t, because he is nobody.

  2. Jemima Says:

    This crazy person may be schizoid, but not every hopeless aspiring writer is quite as whacked as he. Plenty of people can’t write; what’s less common is the inability to read. I think even Mr. Rice can’t tell that he can’t write, all other mental issues aside. The delusional view of the publishing industry merely complicates the basic inability to judge written English, whether his own or another’s.