Long, long ago when the Internet was young, we didn’t have exclamation points and question marks and faux XML. Way back when we walked five miles barefoot through the snow to the VAX lab (uphill both ways) we had to make due with periods - so when someone was addicted to the net, we said she had a net-dot-problem.
My sister has a Buffy.problem, and after surprisingly little effort she’s dragged me down to the kitsch grave with her. I watched some of the early seasons, but Dr. Deb (my Trek Provider and Consulting Physicist) and I didn’t stick with BtVS. My renewed acquainance with Buffy started with a Late Season Five Revue at my sister’s, including the romantic Spike/Buffybot episode. In an hour I left out of my description of last weekend’s Harry Potter Fest, I saw Buffy! The Musical the first time.
Then the nefarious sibling unit brought the tape home for Thanksgiving. I don’t think there’s a Voyager episode I’ve seen three times, never mind three times in one week. I saw “Muse” twice, and that was my all-time favorite episode. B’Elanna, forgive me. It was all over in the first number (spoiler alert, Aussies), when Buffy spiked a redshirt vamp in the sternum while singing “nothing seems to penetrate my heart”. And I thought TOS was campy…
B’Elanna the Canon-Correcting Muse needn’t worry about the Buffybot moving in on her territory, because as far as I can tell, BtVS is already fic. Am I supposed to pit my paltry unfinished filk musical against “Once More With Feeling”? Can my year of gnawing on the corpse of J/C compare to a show that ’ships with real corpses, Buffy’s not the least among them? If I wrote smut, could I ever hope to top “Smashed”? (Somebody tell me they didn’t just broadcast that on prime-time television in my beloved Puritan country, and without any of the TV-NC17 warnings Seema has led me to expect.) And this dragging your friend out of heaven for her own good is just so…J&7.
And so it goes… Dr. Deb has no intention to provide Buffy, but maybe I can change her mind. After all, we’ve been enjoying Special Unit 2, the monster-show so bad it’s–well, it’s bad–more than Enterprise lately, and I skipped the rerun of last week’s Enterprise (which I still haven’t seen), not to mention a Voyager repeat and some midnight DS9, in order to watch that Buffy tape. Trek is still camp, but intentional camp is so much more entertaining…
So I’ve been downloading some mp3’s of the musical, and then I suppose I’ll have to read some fic. But I am not going to buy a DVD player to watch Season 1 like my sister plans to, and I’m not going to watch “Once More With Feeling” three more times to catch up with her. I am not an addict.
I am merely an aspiring addict.