Everyvamp

February 6th, 2002

Everyvamp

Seema has struck again in the Blog Wars, and she even linked her volley. I’m still working on wiki authentication, so that it will remember the few, the proud, the registered users, instead of listing us as TWikiGuest. Don’t hold your breath, though.


I promised a fic fragment, didn’t I? Here goes nothing…

He woke up the next night with a splitting headache, the sort he usually got after dreaming about tasty human happy meals, but he couldn’t remember the dream.

“No rest for the dead,” he muttered, as he pulled on his jeans one leg at a time. He sniffed his shirt - musty, but not yet offensive - and slipped it on. Add one duster and presto, a vamp-about-town.

He was a picture of bloodless cool, leaping up the ladder and out the door of his crypt, striding faster than a human being really could across the dewy grass, going unnoted down the dark streets of Sunnydale, stopping at Buffy’s. He loitered a bit in silence, for old times’ sake, then knocked.

Dawn let him in. Time was, they wouldn’t have wanted the vamp in the house - that was some time ago. He was pretty high up in the white-hat hierarchy now - he hadn’t broken Dawn’s arm, like Willow, or summoned a demon into town to kill the populace softly with his song, like Xander, or left Buffy to fend for herself, like Giles, or fallen in love with the wrong loser in amnesia, like Anya, or left his girl to do the Twelve Steps on her own, like Tara, or committed a thousand little teen sins that seemed so significant to the living, like Dawn. No, Spike was way up there with the Slayer herself - but the Slayer had slept with a vampire, a soulless vampire, leaving Spike the good guy of the year.

Except you couldn’t win that award unless you had a soul, too.

“Nice necklace,” he told Dawn. “New?”

“One of my friends gave it to me.”

“Right.” Being a vampire was as good as being a soddin’ polygraph. The li’l bit’s capillaries dilated tellingly, but he wasn’t the costume-jewelry police. He was just the pet vampire.

“Buffy will be right down,” she assured him. “Buffy!” she shouted, to guarantee it.

The Slayer came down the stairs, reluctantly, Spike thought.

“How about a patrol?” he asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Warren’s up to no good.”

“What else is new?” she asked, but she followed him out the door, telling Dawn not to wait up.

Spike told her his story as they headed for the industrial park.

“It could be a trap,” she said once he was through.

“Why trap you? They’re not vampires.”

“They could be planning to go over.”

“They’re not the type.”

“There’s a type?”

He turned towards her as they walked along. “Yeah. You’re not the type either.”

“I doubt they’d have let me into Slayer school if I were.”

Once Twenty-Eight

February 4th, 2002

Once Twenty-Eight

O blog, I hardly knew ye!

I don’t know how I got so busy, either. I certainly have no fic to show for it, though I did see the Patriots come <>this close to snatching defeat from the jaws of victory like a real New England team.

It’s just going to be one of those years.

As part of the Feedback: Get Over It backlash against the Feedback Now! movement, I hereby absolve all my readers of feedback guilt. If you’ve sent me email in the past, you’ve done your bit. Let the newbies do the young-and-enthusiastic feedback thing.

Of course that’s easy for me to say when I’m not writing anything. And it doesn’t apply to the ASC Awards, either. (Pardon me while I shudder at the thought of all the VOY I got behind on.) I am *not* reading VS7.5 just because they posted it to ASC. Penny is wonderful, and I’ve always meant to read Rocky’s longer stuff, but I just don’t have a virtual season’s worth of free time in my life. Does “I’m sure I would have loved this if I’d had the time to read it” count as feedback for the ASC Awards?

In the spirit of brevity (fic fragments are supposed to be brief, Lori) and muse exhaustion, I think I’ll join the lemmings and go into blogfic. It’s about my speed these days.

But wait! I did have something to say. My rant on Fic Taxes is up at Zendom, as is the ongoing feedback survey. There are only a few days left to take the latter.

The Hemingway Hoax

February 3rd, 2002

  Puppy:  retired
  Word of the day:  minion

My, I’m behind. I want to mention The Hemingway Hoax, and newly outstanding are The Uplift War and a re-read of The Martian Chronicles. I tried to read Cherryh’s Cyteen, but I found it implausible that so much could be alleged to have changed about man, while the politics were still like something out of Disraeli. It was so thick I couldn’t face infinitely many more chapters like the first few I’d read. Downbelow Station, on the other hand, held my interest the entire time, although the level she was writing at was not one I’d like to see another author try. I suppose it was a distance from the many characters like Kim Stanley Robinson held, although the characters themselves were more likeable. The plot was good, if, again, more politics than science. Cherryh is a nice author to visit but I wouldn’t want to read all her fic.

The Hemingway Hoax by Joe Haldeman, started out very, very well. The sci-fi bits were few and far between, but the character and plot were so good I kept right on reading. However, the book didn’t go in the direction that I expected (which was saving the Earth). Instead, the main character lost everything in a series of universe-hops, and eventually turned into someone else in the convoluted and unsatisfying ending. I’m not even sure whether or not he died. I’m not going to run out and read more Joe Haldeman (though I do have to hunt down The Forever War someday) - there can only be one Kurt Vonnegut, fooling the masses into thinking he’s not writing scifi, and fooling the scifi readers into thinking he is. Joe Haldeman is no Kurt Vonnegut.

Some Search Results

January 27th, 2002

Some Search Results

Principal Snyder: You. All of you. Why couldn’t you be dealing drugs like normal people?

Willow: Sarcasm accomplishes nothing, Giles.
Giles: It’s sort of an end in itself.

Spike: Spike had a little trip to the vet, and now he doesn’t chase the other puppies any more.

BUFFY ANNE SUMMERS
1981-2001
BELOVED SISTER
DEVOTED FRIEND
SHE SAVED THE WORLD
A LOT

The muches (not as many as I’d expected):

Morbid much? -Cordelia
Pathetic much? -Buffy
Having issues much? -Xander
Overidentify much? -Cordelia
Broken record much? -Dawn

Buffy Transcript Search

January 27th, 2002

Buffy Transcript Search

New at Jemima’s Wiki Wonderland is Buffy Transcript Search, an exciting service with a boring name. Find your favorite lines! Research snakes and ascensions.

How long it will be before I hear the big cease and desist is beyond me - if that day comes, I’ll set TWiki to search the scripts and then redirect to Psyche, in her legal limbo across the sea.

Also updated are the Voyager quotes, for Lori, and a stray quote that got onto the Buffybot Memorial Page.

Sci-fi is the only literature

January 24th, 2002

Sci-fi is the only literature

It’s not really tonight’s topic, I just wanted to get it off my chest.

Note to Christine: The Fellowship of the Suit sounds like it was ripped off from “The Wonderful Ice-Cream Suit”, one of Ray Bradbury’s better-known short stories (and he’s a man known for his short stories). Bradbury used to write a short story a week; I think he did it for years. I tried it; it lasted for a couple of weeks. Anyway, the Ice-Cream Suit isn’t really sci-fi, but that could be said of a lot of Bradbury’s sci-fi proper. It’s all a bit fantastic, like “Dark They Were, and Golden-Eyed”, one of his many tales of endangered Martians on a Mars that’s like a bit of the Old West, oxygen-nitrogen atmosphere and all.

One other note on something Christine said in her zendom article, and that Lori agreed with by blog: what’s so wrong about Godawful? Yes, it’s a questionable honor to be chosen as Worst of the Web, but I’ve known a couple of people who held that dubious distinction, and they didn’t stop writing. Her friends rallied around one of them, and still revile Godawful whenever it’s mentioned. The other one admitted that her story was, in a word, Godawful. It was an ill-conceived round-robin that she knew deserved its place on that infamous Worst Of site.

Stop by Godawful sometime and ask yourself, is it really so bad to scare these people off writing? They put their fic up in public where anyone can stumble over it, read it accidentally and be squicked in their sense of literary propriety. If we can have rec pages, why not anti-rec pages? Silence is not enough to protect the innocent.

Besides, Godawful serves an educational purpose, just like Bad Fanfic! No Biscuit! claims to. I’ve never quite understood why it’s acceptable to mock bad writers on BF!NB! but wrong to quote them directly (getting them far more hits than their fic merits) on Godawful. In either case, the lesson of Don’t Try This At Home is one that can’t be overemphasized. Not every newbie knows the difference between good and bad fic - else whence the hordes of fluffy-pairing-fic fans?

Even BOFQ’s can appreciate the occasional fic that’s so bad it’s good. Don’t tell me you haven’t read your share of bad, bad fanfic - I was there in fluffdom with you. I heard you squicking.

Originality is such a lonely word…

January 22nd, 2002

Originality is such a lonely word…everyone is so un-new

Many thanks to Jintian for summarizing the whole HP plagiarism debate in her blog for those of us who don’t have two hours a day to follow glass_onion when it gets rowdy. Well, you know I’m going to have an opinion. Let me just get out the soapbox…

I give Harry Potterdom a free pass. Let them rip off Buffy. Let them query-replace whole novels. (I recommend Emacs for ease of query-replacement.) Let them steal other people’s fanfic, even. Go ahead, rip me off.

It was Jintian herself, in the case of real people fic, who implied that people who live in glass fandoms shouldn’t throw stones - yet the stones are flying now. So the question that occurs to me is not why plagiarize? but why dost thou protest so much? Aren’t we all just the bottom-feeders of the literary ocean? We “original” fanfic writers use unoriginal characters in our own unique ways. The HP plagiarists use unoriginal characters and unoriginal lines in their own unique ways.

We are artisans, not artists - if you value originality so highly, why not write in a genre that emphasizes it? Insisting on originality in fanfic seems like trying to have your cake and eat it too - you want the ease and accessibility of fandom, plus the glory of having been “original”. I don’t think there’s room in this town for the both of them.

Plagiarism is a term of disapprobation that can only apply in a context where originality was expected in the first place. This isn’t Martin Luther King Jr.’s dissertation, people, this is fanfic. We frown on originality. We abhor the Mary Sue. We shy away from the Delta Fleet. Fanfic is not literature, and cannot be judged by literary standards.

Fanfic is like a troop of Girl Scouts gathered around a campfire, singing the traditional campfire songs (my favorite was always “Green and Yellow”, the tragic tale of a camper who ate a poisonous snake he’d mistaken for an eel), improving the verses that wanted improvement, and adding in original verses. Maybe those verses would get picked up by other scouts and passed on as the One True “Green and Yellow”, or maybe they’d be forgotten, like so much ephemeral J/C flufffic. One thing’s for sure, though - no girl scout would cry plagiarism if she heard her new verse (What color flowers do you want, Jesse my son? / What color flowers do you want, my beloved one? / Green and yellow, green and yellow - mamma come quick ’cause I’m very very sick and I wanna lay down and die…) coming from the next campfire over.

Fanfiction is an open-source movement. Maybe some people don’t want their source spread around, but the common-law history of copyright and the longer history of mankind telling tales around campfires is on the side of the alleged plagiarists. This is what it is to tell a tale - to take the best bits (including the best zingers) of tales you heard before and put them together in a way that pleases your audience. Harry Potter, the fandom, has rediscovered the art of storytelling, and it shall not be taken away from them.

If Joss doesn’t want to be quoted, he can stop broadcasting his best lines. As for the sacrosanct published authors, no one owned their lines until the printing press, and someday soon they’ll be common property again. No desperate clinging to printing-press laws can hold progress off forever. The future will be open-source; the future will be fanfic.

Rumors of War

January 22nd, 2002

Check out the BlogWars page for the latest in wookie warfare. There’s an X-File, more incitement from the cowardly Swiss, and a whole new universe opening up in Lori’s blog. (Everyone join in with Marvin and groan, “Oh, not another one.”)

Veronica tells me that Demon Casablanca Blog has moved to its own page. Veronica also recommends BitterSweets? for the upcoming holiday.

Speaking of despair, I entered the AAA. Here’s the evidence:

From: “Entries” entries@koffeeklub.net
Date: Sun Jan 20, 2002 09:13:20 AM US/Eastern
To: aaa@jemimap.cjb.net
Subject: Re: Entry for Awesome Author Award 2002
Reply-To: entries@koffeeklub.net

Thanks for entering AAA 2002. Good Luck!

From: Jemima
Email: aaa@jemimap.cjb.net
Homepage: http://jemimap.cjb.net/

Action/Adventure Title: The Museum
Action/Adventure url: http://jemimap.cjb.net/voy/fic/museum/museum.html
Rating: PG-13

Drabble/Poetry Title: Jade’s Drabble
Drabble/Poetry url: http://jemimap.cjb.net/voy/fic/short/jades100.html
Rating: PG-13

Friendship Title: A Light Beyond
Friendship url: http://jemimap.cjb.net/voy/fic/med/alightbeyond.html
Rating: PG-13

Humor/Light Title: Lethe
Humor/Light url: http://jemimap.cjb.net/voy/fic/long/lethe.html
Rating: PG-13

Romance Title: The Dance
Romance url: http://jemimap.cjb.net/voy/fic/long/dance.html
Rating: PG-13

Sad Title: Thrive
Sad url: http://jemimap.cjb.net/voy/fic/short/thrive.html
Rating: PG-13

Wild Card Title: Lurking
Wild Card url: http://jemimap.cjb.net/voy/fic/short/lurking.html
Rating: PG-13

Comments: I think it would be nice to list the top three stories in
each category, even if you don’t give awards for them, so people can
know how they did and readers can read the most popular stories
afterwards.

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BlogBack

January 19th, 2002

In response to popular demand, the BlogWars are now linked in the wiki. And, by the way, there’s a wiki. It’s TWiki, not the UseModWiki I used at the J/C and C/7 wiki sites. Authentication isn’t working yet, so you’ll show up as TWikiGuest. Don’t bother to register yet. I’m working on cookie authentication, like UseModWiki’s.

The TWiki also has a Zendom section and Trek and Buffy areas for future use.

Taking it to the Streets

January 15th, 2002

Happy Birthday to Seema!

There have been a few more volleys in the Blog War, duly linked in the Guide. I took the liberty of titling the untitled.

Veronica informs me I’m terribly behind on Demon Casablanca Blog as well. Sigh. I’ll redo that link list soon…